All posts tagged humor

What A Coincidence!

Your main character is walking down the street.  “Hey,” he says to himself, “this walking business is tiring and inefficient.  I really need to get to the villain’s secret headquarters, and this sign says it’s still three miles away.  I wish I had a taxi.”

A taxi pulls up beside him and the driver leans out.  ”You called, sir?  Your phone must have pocket-dialed, and I heard you ask for a taxi. I was only a few feet behind you, so I figured I’d help out.  There will be no charge, sir– my last passenger overpaid me, and I feel generous.”

What is this?  It’s a coincidence, of course!  How does one pocket-dial a taxi just when one is about to ask for a taxi?  How does one even know a taxi driver’s number?  How are taxi drivers polite?

And how does all that happen by accident? (more…)

52 Comments
by Liam, Head Phil on May 17, 2013  •  Permalink
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Posted by Liam, Head Phil on May 17, 2013

http://insideliamsbrain.wordpress.com/2013/05/17/what-a-coincidence/

Changing Characters… Again

I like reading about thieves.  I enjoy all their faults: their conceit, their disregard for personal property, and their general dishonesty.  Though there are other things that make me like such characters– perhaps they do have honor among thieves, or are willing to help those poorer than they, or their attitude toward life– I believe that their potential for change makes me love them more than anything else.  I don’t see what they are, but what they could become.

Or not.  It depends: are you in a philosophical mood?

But one thing that always is true for thieves is their plots.  They never fail to embark on great journeys and quests that turn their characters around.

I’ve posted about character development before– how you must outweigh the bad with the good that comes later– but that had more to do with character development on a whim than character development through the plot. (more…)

55 Comments
by Liam, Head Phil on May 14, 2013  •  Permalink
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Posted by Liam, Head Phil on May 14, 2013

http://insideliamsbrain.wordpress.com/2013/05/14/changing-characters-again/

I Can’t Hear You!

Can you hear what I’m thinking?

I doubt it.  Even if you could, your brain would be steaming right now, trying to process the double time paradox I was just concocting.  (Even I don’t try to process those.)  So if you could hear what I was thinking, you’re probably dead right now.

Now can anyone hear what I’m thinking?

You can hypothesize, you can deduce, or you can try for a telepathic connection, but chances are you can’t hear the thoughts of other people.

In a fictional narrative, authors frequently write in the viewpoint character’s thoughts.  It’s a luxury prose writers have, to tell the audience exactly what’s running through the character’s head.  Unfortunately, it can often be too much to know what the character is thinking, especially since it often runs afoul of the “show, don’t tell” advice everyone gives.  I posted recently about a character’s imagination and the importance of writing that into a narrative, but not all thoughts are the greatest. (more…)

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by Liam, Head Phil on May 11, 2013  •  Permalink
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Posted by Liam, Head Phil on May 11, 2013

http://insideliamsbrain.wordpress.com/2013/05/11/i-cant-hear-you/

Here’s My Stop!

Dustfinger, from Inkheart, is very complicated.  The Book Chewers just published a guest post about him that I wrote, so you can read all about him there.  The main discovery I made in that post, however, was that his goals don’t agree with the protagonist’s goals– nor do they disagree.  This makes him a strange character.

Look, for instance, at the epic fantasy Team of Awesome.  The old guy who wants the prophecies fulfilled and the world set to rights.  The young hotshot who wants to spit in the face of Lord Maleficent.  (He might be a traitor eventually.)  The girl who really just exists for the romance plot line, but Lord Maleficent killed her father.  And the protagonist, the Chosen One, born to fulfill a prophecy spoken ages ago by an old blind soothsayer.

What do they want?  The old guy wants the world better again.  The hotshot wants glory.  The girl wants revenge.  The protagonist might want anything, but it’s always associated with Lord Maleficent dying.

Lord Maleficent probably wants to live. (more…)

57 Comments
by Liam, Head Phil on May 9, 2013  •  Permalink
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Posted by Liam, Head Phil on May 9, 2013

http://insideliamsbrain.wordpress.com/2013/05/09/heres-my-stop/

Here I Come To Save The Day!

Deus ex machina is Latin for “God from the machine”.  It’s a literary term for when all hope seems lost and KABLAMMO! everything is saved.

That has to be the only paragraph in history with both a Latin phrase and “kablammo” referring to the same thing.  Let’s see how much more awesome this post can get.

A Deus ex machina is a contrived way to let the author keep his characters alive.  Consider, for instance, the eagles from the Lord of the Rings.  Thirteen dwarves, a wizard, and a hobbit are at the top of the same tree as wolves and goblins prowl the land below and a fire licks up from the trees around.  Well, it looks like Bilbo’s done for this time.  Nope!  The eagles are coming! (more…)

110 Comments
by Liam, Head Phil on May 4, 2013  •  Permalink
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Posted by Liam, Head Phil on May 4, 2013

http://insideliamsbrain.wordpress.com/2013/05/04/here-i-come-to-save-the-day/

Don’t Pick Noses

Some people have noses.

Some don’t.

You can’t hold it against someone that their face was in the wrong place at the wrong time, or that they were born with a defect (or reborn, as the case may be).  Several people without noses have scintillating personalities and are lovely friends to have along on a picnic.

But some choose to be morose about their noseless state.  They neglect themselves, letting their skins turn colors or deteriorate altogether, taking different, more frightening forms as the whim takes them.

You would not want them along on a picnic. (more…)

145 Comments
by Liam, Head Phil on April 29, 2013  •  Permalink
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Posted by Liam, Head Phil on April 29, 2013

http://insideliamsbrain.wordpress.com/2013/04/29/dont-pick-noses/

Eye Transplants

There are lots of tips on editing novel manuscripts– stronger descriptions, better characters, cooler names– but they always tell you the same thing:

Come back to the story with new eyes.

Hello, is this the Association of Organ Donors?  I would like a new pair of eyes.

Somehow, I don’t think that’s what they mean.  Usually they explain a little more: leave the manuscript alone for a couple months, read something new, maybe even write something new– then you can consider yourself fresh enough for a reread.

It wasn’t quite enough for me.  I took a very long time to get back to my latest story, but I finally began rewriting.  I was immediately sucked into the same writing style, which was the one thing I needed to change more than anything else.  How was I to do it? (more…)

124 Comments
by Liam, Head Phil on April 26, 2013  •  Permalink
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Posted by Liam, Head Phil on April 26, 2013

http://insideliamsbrain.wordpress.com/2013/04/26/eye-transplants/

Imagination in Character

One of the things that struck me most about War and Peace was the style of characters.  None of them were the same, but they were portrayed so elegantly and truly that I couldn’t help but love them.  Even though it was written in third person omniscient, War and Peace seemed to go inside the minds of every character, helping me know them exactly and completely.

One day, when I was halfway through the book for the first time, it struck me that the characters were imagining things.  I stopped.  ”Hey,” I thought, “I do that too!”  I imagine sequences of conversation between my friends and I, what I’m going to do when I grow up, and what it would be like to enter a whale rodeo.  Some things are fictional, sure, but that’s what catapulted me into writing fiction.  Other things might come to pass… under very lucky circumstances. (more…)

62 Comments
by Liam, Head Phil on April 25, 2013  •  Permalink
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Posted by Liam, Head Phil on April 25, 2013

http://insideliamsbrain.wordpress.com/2013/04/25/imagination-in-character/

Mini Reviews

Today I am going to review three books: I Am Not A Serial Killer by Dan Wells, The Familiars by Adam Jay Epstein and Andrew Jacobson, and Calico Joe by John Grisham.  Since these are mini reviews, each will be spoiler-free and a little bit shallow.  Even if you don’t know any of the books, I suggest you read this through, if only for the “things I learned” sections. (more…)

78 Comments
by Liam, Head Phil on April 22, 2013  •  Permalink
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Posted by Liam, Head Phil on April 22, 2013

http://insideliamsbrain.wordpress.com/2013/04/22/mini-reviews/

Kmalmor the Great and Mighty Dark Enchantress

Katniss.  Kira.  Karou.  The Hunger Games, Partials, and Daughter of Smoke and Bone.  What do they have in common?

For one thing, they’re some of the strongest heroines I’ve ever encountered in YA fantasy.  Katniss spearheaded a rebellion as the girl on fire.  Kira researched a virus that has killed off most of humanity and then set out to find the cure, almost on her own.  Karou… eh, she just fell in love, but she did it with style.

Then look at the names.  They all begin with K.

For some reason, names beginning with K give a sense of the same independence and strength that pervades the personality of each character I mentioned.  Or perhaps the characters lend their strength and independence to the name, and it’s just a coincidence.

Whichever is true, it seems to be popular.  Strong heroines have K names.  Maybe because the letter is spiky. (more…)

325 Comments
by Liam, Head Phil on April 21, 2013  •  Permalink
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Posted by Liam, Head Phil on April 21, 2013

http://insideliamsbrain.wordpress.com/2013/04/21/kmalmor-the-great-and-mighty-dark-enchantress/

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