Let’s say you’re part of a small family that wants a pet, something condescending and aloof that destroys furniture with the air of doing you a favor. The thought strikes you: Hey, a cat would be great! You go out to your local pet store or adoption thingimajig place and order a cat. You bring him or her home and you realize that it doesn’t have a name! What should you do? Well, my friends, just follow the tips below and you’ll have a name even before you decide that you actually didn’t want a cat in the first place!
- Name it after some other, bigger and more powerful, feline, like a tiger. This especially works if your cat has stripes, but doesn’t have anything else in common with its namesake.
- If that doesn’t work, name it something soft-sounding, something that’s at odds with it’s actual character, like Bubbles or Cuddly, or Fluffy. Chances are that you’ll eventually want to add a “Mister” to the beginning to make the animal seem cuter than you’ve found it to be.
- If you don’t like those names, try naming it after your grandfather or something. Thus you might have a Bob in the family again, or a Sedgewick.
- Try naming the feline after its favorite place, or better yet, make it a duke or something! Lord of the Litter Box… That has a nice ring to it. Duke of the Dusty Cupboard. Earl of the Trash Can.
- You can also name your pet after the things it’s destroyed. Living Room Chair, perhaps.
- Try giving it a descriptive name, something like “Streak”, in honor of the way it runs around your house all day wearing nothing. Or “Stupidity Incarnate”.
- Try what it eats most, like “Kitty Chow”. Or Mac’n'cheese! Or just Mac. All of these are good.
- If you get too angry with it, just call it by your favorite swear word.
- Compound words are good, like Bluntclaw, or Greeneye. Just stay away from meshing words that are too long, like “Malodorous-snout”.
Good luck naming your furry little furniture destroyer!